Growing Pains
by ExpendablesGirl07
Summary: No one ever said having kids was easy. Especially not when the two kids in question are Jake Jensen—certified genius, motor-mouth, and son of 'the Viking', Gunnar Jensen—and Sky Christmas—sarcastic, determined, and daughter of 'Knives Out', Lee Christmas. Throw these two kids together in a house full of mercenaries as guardians and you're in for a fun ride. One-Shot Series!
1. Handfuls

A/N: Hey there everyone! For those of you who have read 'The Kids Are Alright' and who have been keeping up with 'Life of a Mercenary', this is the series of one-shots looking into the childhood and lives of Skylar Christmas and Jake Jensen, called Growing Pains! This first chapter is pretty short because it's really just a test and a small taste, showing what it is I'm trying to get across with these one-shots. The next chapters I update on here will more than likely be much longer than this especially since some of the things I want to touch on will have to be written in certain parts. Also if this series of one-shot goes well, I think I might also write another one to focus on the Losers explicitly, because I just love them. It would probably touch upon how the Losers were formed, different missions, their bonding, etc. But tell me what you guys think of this one! And if you have any ideas as to what you want to see on here, feel free to review or message me with your ideas! I'd love to hear them!

Full Summary: No one ever said having kids was easy. Especially not when the two kids in question are Jake Jensen—certified genius, motor-mouth, and son of 'the Viking', Gunnar Jensen—and Sky Christmas—sarcastic, determined, and daughter of 'Knives Out', Lee Christmas. Throw these two kids together in a house full of mercenaries as guardians and you're in for fun ride. Follow these two kids as they move through life kicking ass, taking names, and getting into a bit of trouble along the way.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Expendables or the Losers, just my OC, Sky.

* * *

><p><span>Growing Pains<span>

_New Orleans, Louisiana_

_July 14__th__, 1997_

It was a mystery to him. He had no idea how things had changed so much in such a short amount of time. Barney had gotten used to having Sky around. She'd been with them for around a year, so he definitely found time to adjust. He had cut down on the excessive drinking and smoking cigars indoors. He had cut down on the one-night stands and whenever he did have one, he made sure it was at her place or a motel. Tool still hadn't cut down on his women of the night, but whenever he found himself a new girl, either he or Lee would take her on a 'field trip' to go to the park, the movies, or to eat ice cream. Sky never knew what Tool was up to and she got treats out of the deal, so she was always excited for a field trip. And Lee had morphed into the image of a doting father. He'd cut down almost entirely on one-night stands and drank less frequently. He would buy Sky new clothes and toys, spend time making healthy meals for her, and he made sure that there were rules in place to teach her discipline. He showered her with attention and affection—and Barney and Tool were pretty big on spoiling the small brunette as well.

And Sky was a really good kid. She was quiet most of the time, just keeping her comments to herself and watching everything around her. Often times, Barney could practically see the gears turning in her head. She loved running around and she liked learning new things. She had her small tantrums and her moments where she tried their patience, but those moments were far and few between. Overall she was a great kid and he'd adjusted to all her tendencies.

And then just two weeks ago Gunnar Jensen joined the Expendables, bringing along his seven year old son, Jake Jensen.

Barney hadn't known the kid for long, but he didn't need to in order to realize that Jake was the exact opposite of Sky. Where she was quiet and liked to observe, he was loud and always chattering on about anything and everything that popped into his mind. It was like he ran on an endless supply of energy and had no brain to mouth filter. Sometimes the quirk was endearing, but more often than not it would try the Italian's patience to critical levels. And the small boy was _smart._ Now, Sky was smart and intelligent for a girl her age, but Jake was so smart it was almost _scary_. He was quick-witted, fast to point out flaws in logic he saw, and he knew things that Barney was _sure_ seven year olds didn't learn in elementary school. If he had to guess, the Italian would say that Jake inherited his genius intellect from his father.

And Gunnar absolutely loved it. He always encouraged Jake to ask questions and reason out problems. But in certain instances—like three days ago when Jake pointed out quite loudly that they only got to go on field trips whenever 'Uncle Tool' brought home a lady-friend before asking why—Barney wished the Swedish man encouraged the small blonde to keep his mouth shut in some situations. He and Lee had floundered for an answer with that one, especially when Sky nodded her agreement and looked up with wide eyes to ask why Tool had so many lady-friends.

But Jake wasn't a bad kid. From what the Italian saw, Jake was an awesome kid. He was funny, sweet as could be, and he was very caring. He was fun to talk to—since he _always_ had a response for something, even if it was some weird sort of logic—and it was absolutely adorable watching Sky follow him around anywhere he went. For some reason, whenever Jake arrived, Sky had taken an immediate liking to him. It might have been because she'd never had people her age around her, but for whatever reason she would trail after him wherever he went. And she often ended up the person that he talked to most, since she was always around. It was easy to see that they were going to be extremely close in the future, and watching them together warmed his heart. It brought a bit of color to the bleak life full of death and despair he'd lived for so long.

But despite how colorful and bright they made his life he couldn't forget the fact that they were a _handful._

Sky hadn't been one to get into much trouble on her own, but with Jake there poking and prodding her into different situations, convincing her to go through with his plans and ideas… they'd become a mischievous duo. And that was how he found himself in his current situation, standing in the front room of the tattoo shop with the two mud-stained children, making sure they didn't move anywhere. Gunnar and Lee had gone off to go get towels to wrap the two up so they didn't track any more mud into the shop and Tool was in the middle of doing a tattoo, so it was up to him to watch the two kids. Sky was looking guiltily at her feet, standing slightly behind Jake who didn't look even the slightest bit apologetic. He just stood there with a toothy grin, itching at a patch of dried up mud on his neck.

"So… tell me again what you kids were doing?"

"We were playing pirates!" Jake beamed proudly. "We just kinda fell in the mud puddle!"

"There's no grass or dirt in the alley, where would there be a mud puddle?" Barney pointed out.

"There's dirt in the back lot of the café three stores down! Mr. and Mrs. Thibodeaux let us play back there and even gave us some of their cookies!" Jake explained, reaching back to tug on Sky's sleeve slightly, smiling at her before looking back up at the Italian and puffing out his chest in pride. "We took out the entire fleet of British forces trying to take us in for piracy!"

Again, Barney was reminded that Jake was way too smart. Using historical references while playing pretend couldn't be normal.

"Who said you two could go to the café?" Barney challenged looking at them.

"Dad and Lee said we could play outside," the blonde replied with a small shrug. "The café is outside."

Kid was a smartass.

Barney counted to ten in his head to keep from replying with a smart comment of his own—he would _not_ be riled up by a seven year old—before he turned to look at Sky, sending her a serious look. Almost immediately her cheeks heated up, without him having to say anything. "Sky, you know the rules. What are they?"

"No going away from the shop or garage without one of you," she recited.

"That's right," he agreed. "And Jake, you might not know these rules since you haven't been here long, but Sky does. So there's no excuse as to why you both broke the rule."

"But Mr. and Mrs. Thibodeaux are really nice," Jake pointed out.

"Doesn't matter kid," Barney said with a shake of his head. "A lot of people can seem nice, but they might not be. We're going to have to give you a rundown of the rules, just like we did to Sky, got it?"

Jake pouted.

"Alright you two, don't move!" Lee called out as he and Gunnar walked back over to the kids with large towels in their arms. The knife thrower swooped in and wrapped his daughter up in the towel, lifting her up into his arms and wrapping her up like a burrito. Her laughter bubbled up and filled the air while Gunnar crouched down in front of his son and held the towel out wide.

"Big arms," Gunnar ordered. Immediately, Jake opened his arms wide and launched himself at his father, getting engulfed in the large towel so it was nearly impossible to see his face. Gunnar smiled at his son and lifted him up into his arms before looking to the Italian and smiling. "Thanks for making sure he didn't run off anywhere."

"Not a problem," Barney replied easily.

"We're going to give these two munchkins a bath," Lee replied bouncing Sky slightly in his arms, smearing off a bit of mud on her cheek. "Then we're going to talk about the rules again."

"No rules!" Jake cheered as he wrangled his arm out of the towel. He pumped his fist in the air and grinned. "Anarchy!"

"What's anarchy?" Sky questioned as the two fathers shared exasperated looks and started walking off, ignoring the chuckles coming from Tool and the biker he was tattooing. Gunnar had just started explaining his most simplified definition of anarchy by the time they were in the lift heading upstairs.

"Having those two kids around is bound to be interesting," Tool grinned, looking up at the Italian briefly.

Barney reached for his cigar, before heading towards the door. "You got that right. I said it before and I'll say it again: those two are going to be a handful together."


	2. Cats

A/N: Hey guys, I'm sorry for not updating in a while. It hasn't been for lack of time, this time around, but it's been because I've been having a tough time getting out a chapter I'm actually _happy_ with. For this chapter, I wanted to tackle an idea that actually related to Jake, and it took me a few attempts before I came up with this chapter. It is cute and it helped me get out of my rut, but for my chapter in 'Life of a Mercenary', I'm still not one-hundred percent on it. I've written and rewritten it at least twice before trying to combine my two ideas, which is marginally better, but not where I want it to be at, yet. But, I'm not going to keep any of you guys waiting, so I'll be working on it tomorrow morning and afternoon and hopefully it should be posted by tomorrow night. I need to just get past this part anyway. Well, enough of my babbling! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Expendables or the Losers, just my OC, Sky.

* * *

><p>Growing Pains<p>

_New Orleans, Louisiana_

_July 24__th__, 1997_

Jake was absolutely bored out of his skull. He hadn't been so bored in his life! He was stuck in the room he and his dad shared with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Sky was with Lee getting her enrolled for her first year in Kindergarten and his dad had gone to Jake's old school to get all his paperwork so he could transfer to the same elementary school Sky was going to be attending. Barney was out buying stuff for the 'ancient flying metal deathtrap of a plane' Lee talked about a lot. Tool was busy working downstairs in the shop, so Jake was pretty much all alone and extremely bored. And a bored Jake Jensen was a mischievous Jake Jensen.

He spent a few more minutes just staring at the ceiling before he got up from his bed and started walking down the stairs. He watched Tool greeting customers even as he worked on some guy's skull tattoo for a few seconds before he got bored. He walked into the kitchen and poked around, looking for anything he could snack on. After a few futile seconds of opening and closing the refrigerator—hoping his Pizza Lunchables would magically reappear despite the fact that he and Sky finished them yesterday—he gave up on a snack and instead kept wandering around.

Jake hated it when there was nothing to do. He could never sit still and he could never keep his mind on just one thing. He would buzz around from topic to topic in his head, never sure when one thought started and another stopped. It was one of the reasons why his dad always made sure he was around most times so that he could keep him engaged and let his babble out. And whenever he wasn't there—and he was stuck being babysat by Mrs. Jenkins—he'd always leave plenty of games, puzzles, and riddles for him to keep his mind occupied. But now he was just forced to keep himself busy, and with his body buzzing and his mind racing, he had to do something active before he went nuts.

"What to do…? I can't mess around in the garage," he muttered under his breath as he walked through the very room he was talking about. He knew better than to touch anything in there. He had gotten the 'rules' lecture just a few weeks ago and he had memorized it. Rule #6: Don't play in the garage or touch anything without an adult. And he wasn't going to get his dessert privileges taken away again. So he stayed away from all the heavy machinery.

Instead he wandered out towards the door that led to the alleyway between the two buildings Tool owned. He _was_ allowed to play there as long as there was someone nearby and he went inside the second he saw a hint of trouble. So he pushed the door and stepped into the alley, looking back and forth for anything interesting he could do. It took him only a few seconds to realize that there was nothing to hold his interest—and why should he have thought any different? It was an alley after all.

Blowing out a puff of air he frowned and started to turn back when he heard a scratching noise. He whirled back around and listened carefully, trying to find out where the sound was coming from. "Who's there?" He asked, trying to sound brave, but even to his own ears it sounded more than a little lame. The scratching sound got louder and he could finally pinpoint the source to the row of garbage cans. He frowned and strained his eyes, trying to see what was making the noise before he saw a black puff appear from behind the cans. He blinked in surprise and took a step closer, finally making out the black puff as a small black kitten.

A large smile stretched across his lips. He had always wanted a kitten. He always thought they were so cool and ninja like. They would be awesome pets. So he moved closer to the small kitten, taking care to move as slowly as possible. "Hey there little guy… or girl… I guess since I don't know what you are, it's really rude to assume. So… hey you," Jake said.

The kitten immediately looked his way, its big green eyes locked onto his. Jake made sure he didn't move a muscle, trying not to frighten the small animal. "Hey buddy… you're really cute. You wanna come and play?" The kitten tilted its head to the side in what looked like curiosity. "Hm… maybe you're hungry…" the small blonde thought to himself. "Stay right there alright? I'll see if I can find some milk!" Jake backed away slowly and took off into the garage after the cat was out of sight. He ran over to the kitchen and opened up the fridge, grabbing the gallon of milk and yanking it out. He placed it onto the counter before dragging over a chair from the kitchen table to the cabinets. He climbed up onto the chair and onto the counter to open up one of the cabinets, reaching in for a dish.

"Jake, what in the world are you doing up there?"

Jake jumped and nearly toppled off the counter, but thankfully hands grabbed him before he fell. Once he was steadied on the counter he looked over his shoulder and saw Tool behind him with a raised eyebrow. "So kid, what are you up to?"

"Uh…" Jake muttered, trying to come up with a good excuse for what he was doing. He didn't want to tell Tool about the cat yet. Not until he got the cat to warm up to him. So he racked his brain, trying to come with some excuse before spewing out the first thing that came to mind. "I'm… making cereal…?"

"Making cereal?" Tool repeated with a raised eyebrow, clearly not convinced.

"Yup… making cereal," Jake replied plastering on a large smile that normally got him out of most situations.

Tool stared at him for a few seconds, and Jake felt panic fill him. He was going to get caught. Tool somehow already knew what was going on and what he was doing. There was no way he couldn't know. But before Jake knew it, Tool was pulling him off the counter and lowering him onto the ground. The tattoo artist reached into the cabinet and pulled out a dish and placed it on the counter. "Alright, enjoy your cereal. Next time, just remember to ask for help," the man advised as he walked over to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle. "My appointment is going to stretch on a little longer than usual. This guy is like a flower. Crying with every little thing. Be good until then or until your dad gets home, alright? He should be showing up soon."

"Yes sir!" Jake assured, bobbing his head enthusiastically.

"Alright, stay out of trouble," Tool ordered before heading into the shop again.

Jake sighed in relief, knowing he was in the clear for the moment, before he grabbed the milk and poured it into the dish. For a few horrifying seconds he felt like the gallon was going to slip from his hands, but thankfully nothing so drastic happened. A bit of milk splashed out of the dish, but it wasn't a large spill and he quickly capped it before waddling back to the fridge and placing the milk back inside.

He made a mental note to clean up the spill before he grabbed the dish carefully and made his way out to the alley again. The second he was past the door he slowed down and moved towards the garbage cans cautiously, hoping the small kitten was still there. Peering around the corner he saw the small black puff of fur still behind the cans, its green eyes peering at him intently. "Hey there buddy, I brought some milk for you. It's got calcium and other stuff that's good for you. Well... good for me. I'm not sure if the same things apply to cats," Jake babbled even as he put the dish down in front of the small kitten. The kitten tensed slightly seeing him reach forward, so Jake quickly backed away and sat down on the ground, watching the small fur ball. It took a few minutes of waiting before the kitten walked slowly over to the dish.

It sniffed the dish, its small nose twitching slightly before its pink tongue darted out, lapping at the milk hungrily. "Aw you were hungry, weren't you little buddy?" Jake smiled. He sat and watched the cat drinking up the milk, just studying the small creature. It was extremely cute with small paws and a tail twitching back and forth in content. He wasn't really sure how long he was sitting there, but eventually the kitten had finished off the dish of milk, licking its nose where some milk was matting its fur. Once cleaning itself, the small kitten looked up at Jake, prowling forward slightly.

Jake blinked in surprise as the small kitten started advancing towards him. "U-Uh… hey buddy. Why are ya walking towards me? Do you want more milk?"

The kitten continued to prowl towards him, its moves graceful and slow. When it was within reaching distance from Jake, he started to feel apprehensive. And at that moment, he remembered the superstition about black cats being bad luck. What if the kitten was going to give him bad luck? What if the small kitten was some sort of witch cat and he'd get spelled for taking it in? A wide range of wild scenarios filled his mind, none of them pleasant. Almost immediately he jumped to his feet and started backing up towards the door to the garage. The kitten, however, followed his every move. "Uh… good kitty. Stay kitty… don't curse nice Jake with bad luck…" he muttered, trying to maintain his cool. It would be okay. He would not get cursed by the kitten. It would be all good.

The kitten meowed.

Jake screamed and turned tail, running inside the garage and hoping that the small creature wasn't following him. He didn't bother to turn back around to check if he was being pursued, but he had his eyes clenched tightly, which in hindsight, probably wasn't smart when running through a garage. Before he could crash into any of the workbenches or equipment, he plowed into someone's legs. He went to open his eyes, but he was immediately lifted up by his arms and passed over to someone else. "Jake, what's going on?"

Jake blinked his eyes open and looked up to see his father standing in front of him defensively with Lee on his other side and Tool holding onto him while Sky was holding onto Tool's legs, peeking out in slight fear. "Who was chasing you?" Lee demanded, scanning the garage with his knife already out.

"Why'd you scream kid?" Tool asked worriedly.

Jake blinked, wondering when everyone had arrived in the garage, before he heard it; the low and threatening sound emanating from the vocal cords of the small beast. "T-That!" He shouted dramatically, pointing towards the ground where the small kitten was standing in front of the mercenaries, its head tilted to the side in confusion. It let out another meow and Jake tensed. Sky, on the other hand, beamed.

"A kitty!" She cheered, moving past the three men.

Jake's eyes widened in horror. She was moving towards the beast without any idea what sort of danger she was walking into. "Sky, no! The kitten will curse you with bad luck and tell its witch masters to cast a horrible spell on you!"

Had Jake not been so worried about the small brunette, he would've noticed the shared looks of exasperation from all three men in the garage.

"Nuh-uh!" Sky retorted as she crouched down by the kitten and reached forward to start scratching behind its ears. Almost immediately the kitten began purring and leaned into her hand. Sky beamed and scooped the kitten up gently and held it in her lap, petting the small creature before smiling up at the small blonde boy who was watching in surprise and slight embarrassment. "See? He just wants to be pet!"

Jake felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as his father shot him a look.

"I'm gonna call him Midnight! Can we keep him daddy?" Sky asked looking up at her father with pleading brown eyes. She even held up the small kitten to her face, the creature licking her cheek, which just added to the cuteness factor. "See daddy? Midnight likes me! Please, can we keep him?"

Lee sighed and crouched down to his daughter's level. "I'm sorry sweetheart, we can't keep him." When she started pouting and quivering her lower lip, Lee gave a reassuring smile. "But, why don't you and I go down to see Mr. and Mrs. Thibodeaux? Mrs. Thibodeaux loves cats and I'm sure she'll be happy to have Midnight. And if you ask nicely, she might let you go and play with Midnight whenever you want."

Sky frowned and thought it over before she found the compromise acceptable. She nodded eagerly and got to her feet, still clutching Midnight in her hands. She looked up at Jake and held the small animal out to him with a grin on her face. "Do you wanna pet him, Jake?"

Jake narrowed his eyes at the small kitten. The small creature had caused him to look silly in front of his dad, Lee, and Tool. And that was _after_ he had _fed_ the kitten! He shook his head at Sky and she just shrugged before running off with her father. As soon as the two were out of the room, Gunnar turned around and looked at his son with a raised eyebrow. "So, what was all that about?"

"…I hate cats."


End file.
